Distractions come in all shapes, some more pleasing than others. Nevertheless they are still distracting, no matter how pleasing they are. I keep telling myself that I should be able to keep up a regular update to my general musings, but it always seems that I don't know what exactly to write about or even weather I've talked about the same thing in a previous update. Things happen that compel me to write them out and I should always write when I feel the urge. Stephen King said writing is something you just need to keep doing to get better at it. I often thought of just trying to write a short story, and limit it to something like 10 pages, that way I have to make my story short and resolve quickly. I tend to think of these grand ideas for a novel like story and then I start writing and quickly loose track of what I wanted to write about because I end up putting in so much detail over small things that I lose the key focus of the story. I miss being in school where I would have some one like my creative writing teacher barking at me over finishing my story. Maybe if I had an editor of publisher to do that I could get my ass in gear and finish something.
I did a job interview for Trion games on Saturday, it went well from what I thought. I was looking into a Quality Assurance postion, but they asked me what I would hope to work on if I where to continue down this carrier path. I told them I love to write and the idea of writing lore and story line for a video game appeals to me. I was then asked if I actually had any legitimate publications of my writing. I felt extreamly frustrated that I was not able to say yes. I have written lots of things that I think would make fun articles for people to read but they are very opinionated I just wish I could get my writing out there. This is the best way I know for that. The problem is that no one reads blogs anymore. If I wanted to get noticed more I would have to start a YouTube channel and talk into the camera. That bugs me, most of the time I am chatting constantly in my head about things to no one. It is much easier for me to let it flood out through my fingers and onto the screen than to talk into a camera. My ideas travel much more smoothly when they go down through my arms than if they travel down to my mouth and diaphragm*. Maybe it has to do with being the middle child and knowing that if I talk I'm not going to be heard, but if I write it down, than eventually it will be read. The problem comes when there is so much other crap stuck on the fridge, finger paintings of my younger sister, A+ grade Biology Tests from my older sister, letters of Acquitted chargers from my older brother. That I have little place to put my stuff. So I force you people to read it, well not really force I don't even know how many people read these things. I wish I could have some kind of number. Rather than just going to a party and having people tell me that they like what I write. I mean I am shocked just how many people do. Then I get a little self conscious of what was it I said the last time I wrote something.
Now on to Han, I know that's why you're really here. That guy didn't have to apply to take Obi Wan to Alderann, he just said, look 10000 credits and I will take you. He got the job was like, do pay me in advance because I am that bad ass. I couldn't walk into a job and say, I will do what you want but I need $10000 in advance. I'd get laughed at, I don't have the look down I guess. I need to buy more white shirts and black vests to wear around. Not sure I dig the blue pants with yellow stripe down the legs but I could rock it. You have to own that look or you just look creepy like when Lando was wearing Han's clothes at the end of Empire. That was messed up man. Once Han got the princess back to the rebels he was just interested in the money. I've always loved that about the dogma behind mercenaries, I'll do whatever you want just as long as I get paid. I like this idea and I willing to apply it to my employment. I will do what they ask me to do they just need to make sure I get my money. If my money is less than what I want or not there on time. I'm not doing what they ask. I've yet to be asked anything amoral but... who knows. And people that pass themselves off as mercenaries but then suddenly have a heart when it comes to people suffering as a result of their actions are just hypocritical. This is why I never got into Fire Fly. I am constantly told that I have to watch that series, that it was awesome. I find it hard to watch a show that shows me how hypocritical they are in the first episode I watched.
People can try and point out to me that even though Han said he wasn't in it for the revolution or for the princess he was in it to be paid. He came back to help out Luke because he cared for him. No he didn't come back because he wanted to be all caring, he came back because he noticed that there was power to be gained from helping out the rebels. Suddenly he's a general in an army by the end of the film. Going from paid grunt to well paid general is a pretty sweet deal if you ask me. You can't tell me that Han didn't do what he felt like after he casually blew Greedo away without even blinking. After Han got back from being tortured in Cloud City, that look on his face wasn't that of fear or hopelessness, he said "They didn't even ask me any questions?" He was thinking, if they had I would have sold anyone of them out to save my ass. That is why he looked so shocked.
I guess employers aren't interested in to hiring someone who's loyalties lie with the person with the biggest paycheck for me. Speaking of which, if any of my would be employers happen to Google me and find this blog, think of what you could get me to do if you committed to paying me. No not really...yes really, no just kidding, or am I?
You like me because I'm a scoundrel
Ian Serna
*Who knew there was a silent "G" in diaphragm? You know how long I spend annoyed with spell check? I'm glad Google was all like "Did you mean diaphragm, you idiot?"
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