Over the past weekend there was much crying and mourning
over the victims in the shooting in Colorado.
Not the first time this kind of thing has happened in Colorado, maybe
there is something in the water up there.
Anyway, there is all this yelling and crying about it being a horrible
evil event. There is many people talking
about how sad the situation is, and there is much analyses over why the
individual did what he did. There are
people who start crying for gun control.
There are people who defend that guns are not the cause. Though my stance is just not to own a gun, so
I simply chose not to take a side on that debate about gun control. I don't hunt I don't feel the need to own a
gun.
What is really
bothering me is the lack of feelings I have.
I don't feel any kind of empathy for those people who have lost their
loved ones. This is odd because I can
relate to what they are feeling. I just
don't really care. It also makes me a
little annoyed at how people are going to capitalize on this kind of
thing. Be it political or other gains
people will jump on the opportunity to take something away from this. Maybe a film or something like that will be
made; much like my rant about the World Trade Center film, which did very
poorly in the box office.
It is hard for me
to think of this to be any worse than the 100s of people that are getting
killed in other countries. It is just
something that happens in our country there is a public outcry to do
something. Meanwhile in other countries
war lords are making child armies. Here in America it is at first taken as some
kind of cause to get behind, and by that people clicked the "like"
button. On their computer screen while sitting in their air conditioned room,
probably listening to the latest pop song and drinking a soda. Some people realized the utter ridiculousness
of the concept of thinking that clicking a "like" button isn't going
to change the world. When that was
realized the movement became a joke that, people would poke fun of the people
too ignorant to realize their "like" vote is meaningless. Then the activist that started the movement
was found naked in the street. Rendering
his campaign less than creditable, this is now quickly forgotten.
Should I feel any
more compassion for these people who died in my country than I do to the
thousands of others that I don’t? Saying
this kind of thing is probably going to make me less than popular with
people. I just can put on a sad face
this kind of thing when there is other suffering all around the world.
Americans are a
very privileged type of society; I am not saying I am above that kind of
privileged life. I'm sure I am just as
sheltered as the rest of the people in America.
The daily horrors that people in other countries are something I don't
live with. Who would wish to inflict
that kind of suffering on them willingly and not have some kind of agenda in
mind. There are very few selfless
acts. Everyone has made choices with
their own interests in mind.
This guy decided
to drop out of his PhD program and then go to a packed theater and shoot a
bunch of people. I'll throw my own
theory in there with the rest of the people coming up with reasons. He didn't do it because he was crazy, he
didn't do it because he wanted to hurt people.
He did it because his life felt empty and as if it didn't have a
meaning. He did it to become
infamous. He is now; he's added himself
to the history books. As fleeting as
such a thing is fame. People what to
have it. The impact of his actions has
not really taken hold of him at the moment.
If it ever does maybe he's already thought about the reactions to such a
crime. Maybe he had hoped to be killed in
the altercation, maybe he surrendered without a fight because he just wanted to
spend the rest of his life in quiet solitude.
Seeking the death
penalty for this crime is very likely, the problem I feel with that is, it
really is letting him get away easy with his actions. He'll never really grow old enough to understand
what it is he has taken from those victims.
To lose your life, while a scary thought once it's gone you don't really
care anymore. To lose the life of someone
you cared for is a whole different kind of feeling. There is more to the code of Hammurabi than
people realize.
Is there
something wrong with the way I function as a human that feeling sad for a total
stranger is foreign to me. I deal with
tragedy in my own life by making a joke or trying to add levity to a otherwise
serious situation because that is how a feel the best way to deal with it
is. Dwelling on the sadness is something
you might have to do but wallowing in it is something I can't do. I'd much rather laugh than cry about
something. This really makes me look
like an asshole when I crack jokes about not having to spend money on Father’s
Day. Or saying there's more food to go
around the Thanksgiving table or that I don't have gifts to get on my sister's
birthday, oh wait my girlfriend has the same birth date! Dammit, well can't win
them all.
What I am
basically saying is, just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't
understand. Try not to get too upset over my lack of tears and expressed
sadness for this kind of thing. I
probably step on a lot of people toes and piss in a lot of people's cheerios
with this kind of outlook on life, but I can't change the way my feelings
work. You hate me because I'm a
scoundrel.
Ian Serna
